Adult siblings arguing over an elderly parent’s care and how the responsibilities should be divided is not a very pleasant situation, yet it is all too common. Rivalries and competitions that were a part of childhood tend to resurface at this time. Hurt feelings and past grievances also arise because family members are feeling stress and anxiety over the prospect of their aging parent requiring elder care services.
If siblings try to remember that this is all about mom and dad – it’s not all about them – it may be easier to put sibling squabbles behind them and focus on what mom and dad need. How would they want their children to behave? What can you do to make them proud?
Every situation is different. Perhaps some siblings live too far away to be involved with personal care of their elderly parents. But there are other ways to help.
Dividing the responsibilities
There may be one sibling in particular who lives closest to the aging parents and will probably be more in charge of organizing efforts and keeping the rest of the siblings and family members informed as to what is going on.
But that doesn’t mean only one sibling has to take care of everything. Other siblings can help too, even at a distance. Write down all the things that need to be taken care of. Have a conference with the whole family, even by conference call. Find out what their ideas are and present your own. Find a way to agreeably divide some of the responsibilities so that one sibling doesn’t shoulder them all.
Working together for the good of your elderly parents
It may be a stretch for all the siblings to cooperate and work in unison and there will be some sacrifices to be made but if everyone can contribute to the plan and carry it out in relative harmony it will foster stronger family ties and help family members to grow closer together.
If your parent’s care requires a move to an assisted living facility, siblings can plan together to make sure there are adequate phone calls, letters and visits made to the parent so she doesn’t feel abandoned by her family. Whether it’s mom or dad or both parents, they still need the love and support of their family.
When the parents feel their children are getting along and don’t sense any arguing or resentments going on, they will thrive in their new situation a lot more easily.
Care Connection provides elderly care in Mason, MI. For more information about our caregiver services, please call us today at (517) 489-2489.