You love your mother, of course you do: she raised you, dried your tears, took you to soccer practice, and you have a lot of good memories with her. Sometimes though, things are not always so peachy. If you’re having a hard time with your mother and trying to do right by her, it can get frustrating. Not every day is going to be full of happiness and love, but that can be most days, if you know how to help the situation.
How to Help your Mother and Keep your Sanity
Caring for aging parents can be very fulfilling and a way to show them how much you appreciate what they did for you in your childhood. To be honest, with the stress of aging and life in general, sometimes it doesn’t go so well and both of you can use a little help. Here are a couple of common situations you might be experiencing:
- If you live with your mom and just seem to argue all the time, it might be too stressful on everyone involved. Call senior care services and bring in a caregiver. Consider family therapy, or give your mom her own space. Maybe she can live on her own nearby, and you can see her every day, but aren’t living with her.
- Does your mom love to talk on the phone? If you just want to check up on her, but she always talks for an hour before you can get her off the phone, you might not have all that time. Your mother might start complaining you never call her.
- It can be those little things: if your mom wants you to wait on her all the time, or is overly critical, or complains about everything, it can be better not to live with her.
Don’t feel guilty if you can’t do any more for your mom. Not everyone is cut out for caregiving, and it can be very tiring. On a positive note, here are some solutions you should think about applying to your life and your mother’s life:
- Sometimes you really do need to put yourself first. Seriously consider what might be best for you, your peace of mind, and your family. It doesn’t serve anyone if you sacrifice your sanity for the caregiving. If it becomes too much of a burden, have a professional senior care service caregiver help you out with some of the responsibility
- Trying to do more than you are able isn’t good for your mother or for you. Knowing your own limits both physically and emotionally is key to finding the best solution for everyone. It’s okay if you have to say ‘no’ once in a while. Not every adult child is the same, and being honest about admitting your capabilities is the best way to go.
If your mother is in any stage of dementia, remember not to expect any appreciation or praise for what you’re doing. Since her brain is not functioning as it should, her suspicious or nasty behavior does not mean she doesn’t love you.
Care Connection provides senior care in DeWitt, MI. For more information about our elder care services, please call us today at 517–381-2433.
